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<\/a><\/p>\nYou would never know that Dennis Creamer is a space fanatic who wants to see the colonization of mars unless I told you (since the footage didn’t make the cut). You wouldn’t know from meeting him the complex intensity of his experience as a senior member of the “out” generation, now living in an LGBT home in Washington State.\u00a0Dennis, by the way, is also sometimes “Dee,” when he dresses as a woman.\u00a0 Dennis is one of three men woven together in a delicious tapestry of humanity by acclaimed director\/cinematographer PJ Raval. His latest look at the marginalized world of gay senior citizens was brought forth in the documentary “Before You Know It”, which screened this past Sunday June 23rd, by the Film Society Lincoln Center.<\/p>\n
Four years, many hard drives, and three distinct stories later the voices and lives of the three gay men from very different communities (Harlem, Florida\/Washington State and Texas to be exact) dance around universal themes like loneliness, youth, identity, and most importantly community in a colorful celebration of life.\u00a0Inspired by his mother, conversations regarding retirement, and thinking about why society is so youth obsessed, Raval explains that, “One of the things I did want to do was think about that contrast of gay youth image versus the older image” which can be summed up in a poignant shot of Dee (Dennis’ female identity) looking in vain for connection and conversation at a trendy gay bar full of twinks; the deep searching of his eyes is borderline heartbreaking.<\/p>\n
In addition to Dennis\/Dee we are introduced to Ty, an activist and board member of Harlem NY based SAGE, an organization for LGBT seniors through whom we feel the sheer weight of promise implicit in the message of the equality movement.\u00a0 “I was so surprised that anybody would be interested in seniors up in Harlem who happen to be gay” he says earnestly during the post-screening Q&A.\u00a0 PJ captures the sanguine eyes of this man whose own relationship gets called for evaluation as some of his peers tie the knot. Ty’s infectious laugh and telling face carry the stories of two civil rights movements, and the apprehensive optimism implicit in being a part of the gay black community in Harlem.<\/p>\n
We peek in to a SAGE meeting where gay seniors are all discussing how solitary their lives can be, as they mostly respond in the affirmative when asked if they live alone.\u00a0 Many gay seniors share this solitude that comes with age, but our three subjects seem determined to sail ahead full bore, creating and seeking community as they press on toward tomorrow.\u00a0Cycling through these vignettes any queer cannot help but wonder how many of us will go out in solitude like this?\u00a0 Is this the graying reality at the end of the big gay tunnel?\u00a0 Will our abs, deep-v’s and brunch give way to obscurity and will we be lucky enough to pass on the legacy of men like Ty, Dennis or Robert ‘The Mouth’?<\/p>\n
Speaking of Robert, I saved him for last.\u00a0 He is one saucy old queen, and his stalwart determination to create a secondary family of support in the oft closed minded Texas is as vibrant as it is brave.\u00a0 Owner of the oldest gay bar in Texas and a fixture of the local drag community, Robert reminds one of Ty in his chipper insistence on forging ahead in spite of hardship, but with an edge.\u00a0 Ty at one point remarks at how great it would be, “if we can survive the church crowd after they left church.\u201d Robert on the other hand feels, “you can take your religion and cram it up your motherfu**ing ass!”\u00a0 In my opinion both approaches can be valid at times.<\/p>\n
Whatever you think about gay men, old people, and\/or whether you’re graying yet, I absolutely believe this film is not only worthy of watching but also contemplating.\u00a0 I\u2019ll admit I went in skeptical that it would be anything but macabre or depressing and was delighted to leave the theatre with a renewed appreciation for an often forgotten segment of the LGBTQ community.\u00a0 Join PJ Raval, myself, and others in peeling back<\/p>\n