The Better Man Conference is a one-day event that provides resources, support, and community for engaging men as allies in creating inclusive culture. Participants gain perspectives on best practices for allyship, exclusion behaviors, and a roadmap for building more balanced dynamics in organizations.<\/p>\n
The conference’s Founder, Ray Arata, is a leadership coach, inclusion consultant, and cultural facilitator.<\/p>\n
I caught up with Ray here to talk about healthy masculinity, redemption, and the ally\u2019s journey.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
JV: Can you tell us how The Better Man Conference got started?<\/strong><\/p>\n RA: Four years ago I was two years into my focus and intention around engaging men as allies \u2014 exploring things like gender partnership and advancing healthy masculinity forward. I felt like the activist in me wasn\u2019t being fed, so I had this idea of a conference in the back of my mind. I reached out to several different corporate folks and a variety of inclusion and diversity experts and said \u2018I\u2019ve got this idea to bring healthy masculinity \u2014 as opposed to toxic masculinity \u2014 as a cornerstone to inclusionary leadership. I want to do a conference that focuses on men, but is open to everybody, because as long as men are the main folks in charge let\u2019s figure out how to get them engaged. We had 150 people show up to the first Better Man Conference, and the next year we doubled in size. A big surprise was that companies sent delegations; this all happened before Me Too.<\/p>\n JV: How would you define healthy masculinity?<\/strong><\/p>\n RA: What I offer is a reframe around healthy masculinity and I\u2019ll give you a little bit of context around what\u2019s behind it. I have about ten thousand hours working with men on how to live and lead from the heart in a non-corporate context. I\u2019ve been a leader on 48+ weekends, men\u2019s circles, and I\u2019ve brought this work into prisons: I was just in a maximum security prison last weekend. For me, healthy masculinity is about emotional literacy. I, as a man, have the ability to have a conscious relationship with my emotions. I can feel fear. I can feel sadness. I can feel shame. I can feel anger\u2026all in a healthy way. I also have a level of awareness in my mind that I\u2019m going to be aware of my emotions, I\u2019m going to be aware of my impact on other people, I\u2019m going to speak my truth and honor the truth of other people. All of these attributes are available to us as men. I really want to get these concepts in the mainstream. I\u2019ve got a daughter, I\u2019ve got two sons, and there\u2019s no shortage of toxic masculinity on the planet.<\/p>\n JV: I think in the wake of Me Too, a lot of us are trying to figure out a balance between making sure that victims and survivors have justice, but also asking…how do we help men find redemption?<\/strong><\/p>\n RA: I\u2019m glad you\u2019re asking that. I\u2019m speaking with Morgan Spurlock<\/span><\/strong><\/a> shortly, the documentary filmmaker. He outed himself voluntarily about some behaviors he wasn\u2019t proud of, and was introduced to me on his road to redemption. I\u2019m going to have a conversation about where he\u2019s at and what he\u2019s learned, and if he is asking himself the hard questions.<\/p>\n