{"id":2918,"date":"2014-01-28T22:56:30","date_gmt":"2014-01-29T03:56:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/posturemag.com\/?p=2918"},"modified":"2017-07-27T01:05:27","modified_gmt":"2017-07-27T05:05:27","slug":"the-kids-are-all-right-but-what-about-the-adults","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/posturemag.com\/online\/the-kids-are-all-right-but-what-about-the-adults\/","title":{"rendered":"The Kids Are All Right. But What About the Adults?"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

In June 2013, history was made when the US Supreme Court struck down Section 3 of DOMA (The Defense of Marriage Act), declaring that the law had no right to prohibit the federal recognition of same-sex marriages.\u00a0 This landmark decision was certainly a milestone for the LGBTQ movement; facilitating a long overdue dialogue on civil rights and marriage equality.\u00a0 Yet the repeal of DOMA did more than just provide a legal legitimacy to same-sex marriage\u2014 it also allowed for a crucial social inquiry into the limitations, injustices, and hypocrisies surrounding the grossly ignorant belief that homosexual couples are unfit to either wed or raise children.\u00a0 After all, even the topic of gay parenting has largely been ignored in mainstream filmmaking and other arenas of social representation.\u00a0 However, one cannot discredit the strides made with shows such as The L Word<\/i> or Modern Family<\/i>\u2014even the Disney Channel has finally begun to respect LGBTQ marriage equality rights, featuring a lesbian couple in a recent episode of the show Good Luck Charlie<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>While the number of films featuring queer parents is few and far between, the box office success and critical acclaim following Lisa Cholodenko\u2019s The Kids Are All Right <\/i>(2010) were evidence that audiences indeed have an appetite for the subject matter.\u00a0 Starring Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, Cholodenko\u2019s film centers on a married lesbian couple who must deal with the consequences of their children\u2019s decision to seek out their biological father.\u00a0 Bening and Moore respect the intellectual authenticity of the film by embracing their roles with convincing restraint and relatable nuances: their chemistry smartly captures the tension of a couple going through a mid-life crisis, despite being madly in love. Both co-written and directed by Cholodenko, The Kids<\/i> Are All Right <\/i>beautifully illustrates the experiences of a couple who must navigate the trials and tribulations of marriage and child rearing\u2014that couple just happens to be gay.\u00a0 Delivered in a tone of \u201cdramedic\u201d insight, Cholodenko\u2019s clever story concept allows the film to effectively explore the modern day family unit, and what can happen when this domestic bliss is threatened\u2014all the while avoiding the claustrophobia of intense melodramas.\u00a0 Instead, the dynamics of parenthood and matrimony are portrayed in ways that are both intimate and self-aware; with Cholodenko offering highly relevant and inventive commentary on the expansive nature of a family in crisis.<\/p>\n

Before I continue I must emphasize that while The Kids Are All Right <\/i>centers on a lesbian marriage, it isn\u2019t necessarily about one.\u00a0 Rather, it\u2019s about marriage itself: an institution with challenges and hardships that are universally relatable.\u00a0 Jules (Moore) and Nic (Bening) have been happily married for over 20 years, living in a gorgeous home in the rather chic suburbs of Los Angeles.\u00a0 They are raising a boy named Laser (Josh Hutcherson) and a girl named Joni (Mia Wasikowska)\u2014with each mother giving birth to one child using the same anonymous sperm donor.\u00a0 A straight-A student about to leave for college, Joni (who, needless to say, is named after Joni Mitchell) is a shy, mature and inquisitive teenager who absorbs the world around her with astute skepticism.\u00a0 Joni\u2019s unyielding curiosity leads her to contact sperm donor Paul; a scruffy, motorcycle-riding restaurateur with a green thumb and penchant for organic foods.\u00a0 Mark Ruffalo effortlessly captures the hip, casually progressive demeanor of Paul; whose laid-back approach to life contrasts with the brittle and uptight Nic.\u00a0 It comes as no surprise that Joni and Laser find him intriguing.\u00a0 But how do Nic and Jules respond to the news of this recent familial intrusion?\u00a0 In theory, they seem accepting so long as they get to meet Paul for themselves\u2014but in actuality they\u2019re far from thrilled, (\u2018disturbed\u2019 might be a better word).\u00a0 \u201cI get it, all right\u2014he\u2019s their biological father.\u00a0 But it still feels really shitty, like we\u2019re not enough or something,\u201d proclaims Nic.<\/p>\n

\"kids\"<\/a><\/p>\n

While the issue of gay marriage has become a topic of ideological contention and cultural strife in our society, it is also an existing social fact\u2014and one of the features that makes The Kids<\/i> Are All Right <\/i>work so well is that it acknowledges this fact and avoids those homocentric clich\u00e9s and \u201cafter school special\u201d lessons typically found in gay cinema.\u00a0 Removed from homophobic hysteria, Joni and Laser are bright, sensible, well-rounded teenagers whose responsible and devoted parents adore them\u2014their family is the picture of normalcy.\u00a0 Simply put, Kids<\/i> begins with the depiction of a stable and healthy (albeit imperfect) home environment and in that regard, the film immediately establishes itself as a subtle yet effective rebuttal of all those gay marriage nay sayers.\u00a0 Sure, Nic and Jules are a bit of a mess and perhaps experiencing a slight \u201cmidlife malaise\u201d (but which couple doesn\u2019t?): as the breadwinner of the household, Nic is a slightly nagging control freak and obsessive worrier who works in a hospital as an OBGYN. \u00a0She can\u2019t help but micromanage in an effort to maintain a sense of structure both in her professional and personal life\u2014and yes, she does enjoy her red wine to take the edge off.\u00a0 Nic is more of the mind and Jules is more of the heart; because unlike her wife, Jules is more of a free-spirit.\u00a0 Unfocused, restless and a bit flaky, she has dabbled in various careers while taking care of the children and now plans to go into landscape design. Or as she tries to explain amidst a slue of stutters: \u201cthere\u2019s a gardening component, but it\u2019s really about creating unique, eco-friendly spaces that blend with the surrounding environment.\u00a0 Do you know what I mean?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cMost definitely,\u201d replies Paul at their meet and greet barbecue; employing that hesitant intonation, crooked smile, and slightly dangerous charm implicit in Ruffalo\u2019s character.\u00a0 Oh no.<\/p>\n

\"the<\/a><\/p>\n

Everything about Kids<\/i>\u2014from the exactly measured and honest performances, to the convincingly bourgeoisie prattle of the dialogue\u2014seems to hit the mark in a way that is neither ostentatious nor forced.\u00a0 Yes, this film is a comedy; but Cholodenko smartly employs a light tone of slightly satirical wit that truly adds dimension and a novel sensitivity to the imperfections of her characters.\u00a0 Bening and Moore in particular employ an impressively convincing precision to the speech patterns and habits of their respective characters, and their dynamic shines even during moments of contention.\u00a0 One of the greatest achievements of this film is how it showcases Cholodenko\u2019s immense fascination with awkward social tension and interpersonal exchanges; with her camera lingering on the inflections and idiosyncrasies of her characters.\u00a0 Cholodenko\u2019s knack for hazy insights, intelligent catchphrases, and social observations make for interesting conversations that seem all too familiar, sometimes uncomfortably so.\u00a0 Take for example the scene where Paul is meeting Nic and Jules for the first time: the glancing moments, off-beat comic timing, tactical use of silence, and instances of acute and relatable social embarrassment are enough to make the audience feel as antsy as those onscreen.\u00a0 Even when the characters blatantly transgress\u2014as when Jules and Paul sleep together\u2014Cholodenko refuses to assign a villain and a matyr.\u00a0 But that\u2019s what makes The Kids Are All Right <\/i>so understanding of human nature; for Cholodenko\u2019s greatest concern lies in presenting the invisible threads that entangle people, even if those threads happen to be made of messy emotional collisions.\u00a0 Sure, Nic feels betrayed; but her reaction avoids any melodramatic grief or hysteria.\u00a0 Instead, when confronting Jules, she simply sits down\u2014tears streaming down her face\u2014and utters \u201cSo are you straight now?\u201d\u00a0 I consider this scene to be the most heart-wrenching in the film precisely because it is pulled back: Cholodenko allows Bening\u2019s dialogue (and in particular, that powerful line) to speak for itself because she is confident that the viewer will absorb the brevity of this exchange.\u00a0 We all know that sexual identity is not that straightforward, and Cholodenko recognizes that.\u00a0 Of course Jules isn\u2019t straight all of a sudden, nor is she in love with Paul.\u00a0 Feeling lost, trapped, and neglected she turned to the only other prevalent figure in her children\u2019s life.\u00a0 Yes, it was a moment of selfish weakness, but who are we to judge?<\/p>\n

\"the<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat Cholodenko, at her sneakiest, is doing here is to ask what occurs when a moral elasticity-as that of Paul\u2019s character-encounters sturdier, more traditional forms of living\u201d (Anthony Lane). When we first meet Paul, he is a sympathetic outsider that grants insight on what the family members lack; and consequently Joni and Laser connect with him in ways that they can\u2019t with their moms.\u00a0 There is no doubt that they regard Paul as a confidante, but what does that imply about Nic and Jules as parents?\u00a0 Does this mean that Cholodenko views homosexual parenting as being inadequate since it lacks the parental figure of the opposite gender?\u00a0 Not at all, in fact Cholodenko\u2019s commentary is quite the opposite.\u00a0 Rather, she is using a delicate coat of satire and farce to illustrate just how disruptive an unattached heterosexual person can be to the domestic order of a family with gay parents.\u00a0 Just because that individual provides the sperm (or egg) does not mean they are entitled to step in and serve as a pseudo parental figure. Because by the end, Paul manages to cause trouble for the family, and in no way does this go unnoticed by the teenagers whose ultimate love and loyalty lies with their mothers.\u00a0 Indeed, they sought a friendship with Paul but in the end they got more than they bargained for, and they too feel betrayed by the emotional chaos brought on by this feckless person whom they trusted.\u00a0 I agree with critic Anthony Lane\u2019s assertion that Cholodenko\u2019s approach is \u201csneaky\u201d, because although she highlights the toxic consequences of such a domestic disturbance she does so in a neutral, sparse and empathetic manner.\u00a0 There is no condescending judgment, or overarching lesson depicting the gay parents as invincible heroes and the outsider as a villain.\u00a0 If anything, Nic and Jules are just as eccentrically flawed at the film\u2019s conclusion, and even Paul can be regarded as more of a scapegoat than a demon.\u00a0 But if anything, that\u2019s what makes The Kids Are All Right resonate so well: it doesn\u2019t suffocate you with heartwarming clich\u00e9s and political platforms. \u00a0Instead, what Cholodenko does is weave a modern, sensitive, complex and multi-faceted tale of the imperfections, contradictions and misunderstandings that exist within and between people.\u00a0 Nic and Jules are merely one of a myriad of couples experiencing a rough patch\u2014yet despite these hiccups, the kids are all right.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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