Entrepreneur Shelley Holcomb Talks Sex and Work-Life Balance

Shelley Holcomb works harder than anyone in Los Angeles. She is an artist, before anything else, and that informs everything else she does — but it is not all she does. When she is not painting in her studio she is running the go-to source for art in LA called Curate LA, running digital media at one of the top architecture schools in the world, co-hosting a radio show about sex called Whits & Giggles, being an independent curator, and every other thing under the sun. Last week I had the chance to sit down and chat with her between a photoshoot by Swedish photographer and director Simon Jung Krestesen.

 

Shelley Holcomb

 

“I don’t know how to find balance in my own life. I don’t do it well. I overload myself and the only thing that keeps me sane is yoga and weed.”

How would you describe what you do to someone who doesn’t work in the fields you work in? You’re doing 100 different things at once.

I’m an artist. First and foremost. A lot of my practice deals with new media and digital platforms as well as social cause, in a sense, or social experimentation.

Is there a point of intersection where it all comes together? Or do you seem them all as separate?

I keep them all slightly separate. I keep my studio practice separate from Curate LA. Although, I do consider it a curatorial project.

Do they influence each other?

Sure, Curate LA in particular does just because I see so much art all the time. I have had so many conversations with collectors and artists and curators that my repertoire has changed as an artist. I think it helps me in my own practice, forcing me to think about things differently.

Shelley Holcomb

 

Does your art practice influence Curate LA?

Yeah, my aesthetic does, I’m sure. I don’t know if Whits and Giggles influences Curate LA. Whitney Gibson, who I manage Whits and Giggles with, influences Curate LA with her input so I suppose it influences it in that way.

You get invited to openings and press previews and you see a lot of stuff before anyone else sees it. You do studio visits and see works before anyone else does. You get invited by the biggest institutions in the city to see things before others. But when you go and look at Curate LA, it is not only the behind- the-scenes look at those big pillars in the community, but also more ‘fringe’ artists and spaces as well. You represent outsider artists or queer artists and artists of color. Is that purposeful?

Yeah, it is one of the main driving factors for why I created Curate LA in the first place. I wasn’t seeing the type of art and artists that I wanted to see and experience. There needed to be a platform that was an outlet for those communities.

Is it intentional that you put them next to big art institutions and blue chip galleries?

Absolutely. And if anything, I promote them more.

You elevate them.

I try to be democratic. I definitely want to have a voice, but also want to let people decide for themselves. But mostly I want to level the playing field when it comes to presenting these marginalized artists versus these larger institutions which are systematically racist and sexist like most other institutions in this world. They are diversifying now but there’s a lot more to do.

Right.

I mean, it all interplays with each other. It’s important to have these institutions, but we need to make things more fair.  So if I can at least level things and give marginalized artists a fighting chance or teach people what else is out there besides what’s being shown in the mainstream then I feel I have done my job.

Shelley Holcomb

I feel like you are doing the same thing with Whits and Giggles. I can see the intersection there. The things you talk about and the guests you have are also often marginalized and even the topics are ones that aren’t discussed when you turn on mainstream radio.

Yeah, it is two women of color that are explicitly sex positive. We interview people that most would call ‘fringe’ and to us they are just open and exploring and accepting of themselves and we feel like these people are the best to inform other people about their own culture.

You’re giving voice to people who don’t traditionally have an equal voice in this world.

And we are giving voice to ourselves. There aren’t many sex shows out there that are talking about sex in a real way, let alone one hosted by women. Or women of color.

What advice would you give to people who want to do what you’re doing?

Honestly I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m just trying to be aware of my own footprint and how I effect or don’t effect others and the importance to that. If you have the means to develop something, you should. I’m still unclear as to what I am doing. I just stack my schedule and try to keep advancing.

What about finding balance with all the different things you do? What advice would you give to someone about finding balance?

I don’t know how to find balance in my own life. I don’t do it well. I overload myself and the only thing that keeps me sane is yoga and weed. My personal life suffers. My work life is my personal life. I’ve had multiple people break it off with me because I’m too busy.

I like that.

What am I supposed to do? I’m not going to choose and if I have to it is going to be work or passions, not the other person. I just need to find someone who is on my level.

Does that exist?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s multiple people. I juggle work so maybe I could juggle men too.

You have had some exes call into your radio show, Whits and Giggles, right?

Yeah.

Can you tell me about some of the guests you have had on?

Our most recent guest was Vanessa Cuccia, the founder Chakrubs, which is a company that sells crystal sex toys. They’re made out of different kinds of crystals. For her they are sculptures, she even copyrighted the shapes. They were on Conan recently.

So it has properties that affect each person different?

Yeah, this one is for love and relationships. This egg is for your pelvic floor. This one is for women. Hold it. Don’t drop it.

How much is this?

About $200. It has a really good weight to it that most sex toys don’t have. So we had the woman on who makes them. She gave them to us to try before she came on the show. This other one is black obsidian and costs more.

Who else?

We had a midwife on the show that does everything at home. She comes to your house to help with everything from pap smears to giving birth at home. We had her on for two shows because she was so great and informative. We talked a lot about the physical structure of the vulva and the vagina. The different glands that are down there, the g-spot and so many other things that people don’t talk about. The history of women’s health and how it is under studied and underdeveloped and how the medical system has a lot of procedures that are antiquated and unnecessary.

Shelley Holcomb

That is great that she was so knowledgeable.

So much so. We even talked about how to make women squirt and how there are so many different ways to make a woman squirt.

I came and took photos when you had a writer for Playboy and someone else.

Ya that one was fun. We’ve had a couple professional doms. We did a panel discussion with them at the Pleasure Chest in LA and they had their slaves tied up in the audience. That was awesome.

What did you do for it?

I moderated it with my co-host, Whitney, and it was about normalizing BDSM in the bedroom. I also did a show where I went to a sex party at a dungeon and everyone had to give me their confessions. The whole party is recorded. I’d never been to one and I was kinda taken aback and I felt a bit uncomfortable taking people out of their element and breaking the fourth wall. But it was great.

What about a favorite show?

One of my favorite shows was this guy who calls himself “The Hole.” He prides himself on being an expert for giving blow jobs. He even has a glory hole he has built into his house that he puts an ad on Craigslist and has strangers come and put their dicks in so he can suck them off. He showed us videos, gave us tips, and told us his whole sexual progression. It was super interesting.

So it is also introspective.

Absolutely. We also had Adam Seymour on, who gives lessons on how to give hand jobs. He was a happy endings masseur previously and now gives these workshops called The Wank Bank. He gave us a laminated list of techniques, we brought vegetables and demonstrated these techniques on the show.

All phallic vegetables?

Ya of course. One was a potato because some penises are shaped like a potato. We had all kinds and Whitney and I jerked each other off on camera. You can find it online. Right now we are mostly trying to focus on feminine sex, normalizing sex, and making people feel more comfortable to explore. We had someone else come on the show and try to teach our audience why having a finger up your ass is great (as a straight male) and why prostate stimulation is great. They spoke to both men and women to encourage them to try it.

Has there been any criticism or pushback?

No actually. If there is, I haven’t heard it.

Do you think that is because you are here doing this in such a forward-thinking place? Like if you tried to do it in The South or another country would it have been so welcomed?

I would have been ostracized in my home state, in Mississippi. Called a ‘whore’ and treated like one. It is not like that here in California. We have not had any pushback. But we also aren’t the most famous show out there so that may be a reason too. We fly under the radar to some degree.

Tell me about your own identity.

I think that it has been an ongoing exploration. In Mississippi there were no other Hispanics and only ones I knew were my family in Guatemala and then when I went there I was an American and called a “Gringa.” I was always an outsider. As far as sexuality goes, that is a constant exploration. I was raised in a very conservative mentality and once I got to college I started to experiment, but it took all the way until now that I have truly opened up. Whits and Giggles kinda forced me to talk the talk and walk the walk.

So is Whits and Giggles part of your own sexual exploration?

A lot of it is me talking about my own sexual experiences. It is embarrassing, but afterwards it feels great to put it out there. People I have been intimate with call in. That is embarrassing and I have had multiple people do that, but I’ve gotten so comfortable and I just feel like I’m talking to my girl Whitney now. I’ll talk about an orgy I might have had or the multiple people I might be dating at the time. I’m able to really open up about my sex life. People say I am very sexual, and it’s true. I like to talk about sex. I like to have sex.

I feel like everyone is figuring it out and it is always fluid.

Ya, I am certainly jealous of people who have it all figured out or are able to live in only one label. I am just figuring it out every day. I am a woman of color. I identify as a Hispanic person. Race is important, gender is important, but my own sexuality is something that is a constant exploration for me.

Photography by Simon Jung Krestesen


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Phil America
Phil America

Phil America is a California-raised artist, writer and photographer based in Los Angeles. He frequently exhibits his work in museums and galleries around the world, has published three books, collaborates with fashion brands, and has given three TED Talks.

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